First of all
my fond regards to all and Jeff, I am sorry I could not visit in person and get
the chance to see you. I hope you have a
great trip and that the discussion of this old favorite of mine is lively and
fun.
I first read
this book as a senior in college at the University of Northern Iowa in
1978. It was recommended to me by my
friend Tom Quade, who remains a great friend to this day. Tom and I have had many lively discussions
over the years – we are opposites in some regards, like politics, but almost
brothers in other respects, like spirituality.
As I read the book back then, we often discussed it. I found it very interesting and thought
provoking. It was a time in my life
where I longed for adventure – a longing I would soon fulfill by hitch-hiking
all across the country, seeing many states I had never been to, then ending up
with my backpack and $60 in my pocket in Central Park in NYC. I found a place to live, found a job, and
pursued my theatre dreams, ultimately founding a small theatre company with
four other young artists. It was a
lively and adventurous time in my life.
This book truly informed and shaped me in regard to that adventure – I
kept a journal (which I lost years ago – dang!) of my “life on the road,” that
summer in large part inspired by the meditations of this book.
I read it
again in my early 40’s and found new meaning in the mental and spiritual
explorations the author embarks upon. I
saw the central question of the book, “What is good?” (or what is quality?) in
a new light as a father of two young children, a husband who had helped his
wife through a bout with cancer (who would have known we would engage in that
struggle together two more times?) an experienced English teacher who was in
graduate school and about to embark on a new career path as an administrator.
What never
grows old to me as I read this book is the phantom character of Phaedrus. For me, it is the act of wrestling with his
self-doubts and striving to make sense of all the various incidents and
decisions in his life that is resonant.
To one degree or another, I think we all live with and struggle (at
least at times) with deep self-doubt. I
know very few people who don’t wrestle with their own personal version of “What
is Good,” and also know very few people who can easily resolve the conflicting
emotions, thoughts and perspectives that wrestle within us and our changing
life circumstances as we strive to be good people, do good work, and reach for
meaning in life larger than ourselves.
This is why
I always did and still love this book. I
am not a philosopher, and my knowledge of philosophy is limited to the two
basic philosophy courses I took way back in undergraduate school. I do like and have a life-long affinity for
what I call “wisdom literature,” some of which might be considered philosophy:
“Meditations,” by Marcus Aurelius, “Ecclesiastes,” in the OT, “Man’s Search for
Meaning,” by Holocaust survivor Victor Frankl, to name a few. These are also books or readings that ask
pretty much the same question, “What is good?” or “What is a good life?” or perhaps,
“What is a well lived life?”
While not
wishing to speak for anyone but myself, I do believe that our lives tend to be
messy and don’t always make sense and that clarity is elusive. This is very true for me. I live pretty much without regret, but have
certainly had more than my share of mistakes, blunders, mis-steps and bouts of
general stupidity. I have hurt or
angered people I love, been unkind, made really stupid career moves, etc. Through it all, I have made an honest effort
to be a good person. To be kind, to be a
true friend, to, in the words of the Rotary Motto, “Put service above
self.”
This book
provided me less with a roadmap for “What is good?” at a young age and in my
middle age than a roadmap for exploring that question in my own life and
fueling a desire to strive, always to realize the better angels in my nature
and not give up, even when I falter, in my humble, small efforts to live a good
life.
My final
thoughts are that a central element of the book is the touching relationship
between father and son and the deeply touching nature of the father worrying
that his own mental illness and suffering will be repeated in his son. The irony that Pirsig’s real son Chris, upon
whom the character in the book is modeled, was murdered at 23. At any rate, Pirsig’s love for his son is a
powerful element of the book for me. I
really enjoyed a return to a meaningful book in my life.